Inspiring Mark Twain Quotes
- “The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
- “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.” – Mark Twain
- “There was never yet an uninteresting life, such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior, there is a drama, comedy and a tragedy” – Mark Twain
- “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
- “The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
- “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.” – Mark Twain
- If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.” – Mark Twain
- “What is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.” – Mark Twain
- “I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; therefore, I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.” – Mark Twain
- “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain
- “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain
- “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” – Mark Twain
- In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. – Mark Twain
- “It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want—oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heartache, you want it so!” – Mark Twain
Funny Mark Twain Quotes
- “Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.” – Mark Twain
- “April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.” – Mark Twain
- “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” – Mark Twain
- “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain
- “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain
- “To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” – Mark Twain
- “When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.” – Mark Twain
- “When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain
- “Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.” – Mark Twain
- “Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
- “Write what you know.” – Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
- “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” – Mark Twain
- “I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” – Mark Twain
- “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” – Mark Twain
- “Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.” – Mark Twain
- “The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.” – Mark Twain
- “It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” – Mark Twain
- “After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.” – Mark Twain
- “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” – Mark Twain
- “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” – Mark Twain
- “Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple’s sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.” – Mark Twain
- “The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.” – Mark Twain
- “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.” – Mark Twain
- “Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.” – Mark Twain
- “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.” – Mark Twain
- “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.” – Mark Twain
- “If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us, do it.” – Mark Twain
- “There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.” – Mark Twain
- “The lack of money is the root of all evil.” – Mark Twain
- “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain
- “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” – Mark Twain
- “Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” – Mark Twain
- “Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.” – Mark Twain
- “I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.” – Mark Twain
- There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.” – Mark Twain
- “We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.” – Mark Twain
- “Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.” – Mark Twain
- “All right, then, I’ll go to hell.” – Mark Twain
- “Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” – Mark Twain
- “The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it” – Mark Twain
- “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.” – Mark Twain
- “Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.” – Mark Twain
- “My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.” – Mark Twain
- “Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.” – Mark Twain
